Fallout 4 is here. Millions of gamers are exploring the wasteland scarred from the devastation of the nuclear bombs, while the game rightfully hoards precious time away from other games. While it would be remiss to ask what we want next in Fallout 5, Fallout 4 adds some crazy locales, irradiated enemies, and insane weapons. The Fallout 4 E3 presentation depicted the return of the Fat Boy, a laser musket, and a rocket launcher that can shoot teddy bears for perfect headshots, splattering brain everywhere. Here are some of The Game Bolt’s craziest weapons we want as we roam a near obliterated Boston.
Liam- The Burrito BeQueather
I love burritos, and maybe a bit too much. Imagine a crossbow that can launch burritos at your enemies. Instead of filling their stomachs with sweet, (American) southwest grill goodness, your enemies explodes, as hundreds of years without Chipotle and Qdoba have weakened our tolerance of spicy foods, causing mutants, raiders, and irradiated creatures to tremble at the sight of the nearest Chipotle menu. If burrito’s are an appropriate size, it could make for a deadly, long distance weapon.
Kyle- The Laser Revolver
Just imagine it, you’re roaming across the Boston Wasteland, you enter this rundown Police Station and as you’re searching and looting the place, killing radroaches and any other run of the mill enemy along the way, you enter this locker room and come acoss the only locked locker. Luckily you have the lockpick perk, so you open it and what’s there? Well, some bottlecaps, bottles of water, an audio log of a police officer fretting about his family back home when the bombs hit, and there’s a Laser Revolver. It takes you a few seconds to realize how awesome this is, “IT’S A LASER REVOLVER! I’M GOIN’ SCI-FI DIRTY HARRY ON EVERYONE, BWAHAHAHA!” You then change your playstyle completely and go on a murdering spree across Boston with your over-powered Laser Revolver. Heck, you could even use it to craft with some shotgun parts and turn it into a LASER SHORTY! WOOHOO!
In Fallout 3 and New Vegas I was the Small Guns guy. I would really only use a pistol or a sniper rifle. I would try to talk my way out of a situation before I would shoot my way out. I never found much need in the big guns or the laser guns, but what if the small guns and the laser guns could be combined to make something the best of both worlds? That would be awesome! Think Han Solo’s blaster, but with the body of a Smith & Wesson Model 29. I could trick big bad raiders into thinking that I just have a tiny puny gun, but wait, there’s more! PEW PEW PEW! All shot in their faces with a gigantic red laser, their heads just melt under the pressure and heat. That’s what I want to be doing in Fallout 4, who wouldn’t want to be Dirty Harry with a laser revolver in a post-apocalyptic nuclear fallout wasteland?
Ryan – The Deep Fryer
One of my favourite weapons in video game history is the Morph-O-Ray from Ratchet & Clank, which could transform your enemies into chickens. Now why don’t we take it a step further and have Fallout 4 introduce a weapon that deep frys your opponents? Food is scarce in the nuclear world of Fallout and yet it can be extremely important (especially in New Vegas on Hardcore Mode) to give your depleted health a little bit of a boost. Eating roaches and mutants doesn’t really get my stomach growling, but cover them in some crispy batter and we have some finger lickin’ goodness. Sure they might be a little high on the radioactive side, but who can be fussy in a post-apocalyptic world?
Brett – The Junk In The Trunk
Fallout 4 is allowing us to use scraps and normally useless materials to build our camps and defenses against raiders and the like, which is a huge reason for me to collect everything in sight. But why not make a gun that allows us to shoot excess junk and waste? It could be customizable like the other guns in Fallout 4. Aside from crafting materials, plates and silverware could be used to inflict harm, tin cans would shoot out at a high velocity and deal great damage. There’s no shortage of ammunition, either, so when you’re finished perfecting your fortress you can use anything to wreak havoc in the post apocalyptic world. Who wouldn’t want to shoot a tire at a Deathclaw?!
Luis – The Wocket Wauncher
We’re not sure exactly sure when Fallout 4 takes place but if it’s near Fallout 3, there could be a possibility we run into Biwwy. Biwwy is a 9 year old boy from Fallout 3 who has a slight speech impediment that makes it hard for him to pronounce his L’s and R’s. He gave us the wazer wifle, which was silly but became one of the best and most iconic laser rifles in the game. It would be fun to run into him again, if he somehow made it all the way to Boston, and attain another one of his coveted weapons, the wocket wauncher. It should be more powerful than all regular rocket launchers but have a silly toy-like appearance. It would be really funny too if in order to reload it your character had to say “weload.”
Liam Crossey is the Executive Editor of Features for The Game Bolt. Follow him on Twitter for too many retweets.